Creating a Season to Remember

The Good Ol’ Days

There’s always been a certain loss of common sense and perspective in youth sports. Competition is an encounter between two opposing forces, which automatically invites a higher-than-average intensity. The combination of kids, passion, and adults often brings out the worst in people. Although the youth sports’ experience was never entirely without problems, the times seemed simpler years ago.

Years ago, kids had less sporting options and plenty of free time to play in neighborhoods. That local play involved less structure and parental involvement. It led to kids figuring things out for themselves, and more often than not, the result was fun. In organized sports, coaches had the freedom to manage their players with little parental involvement. Bad coaches were around then, too, but fewer other concerns existed. 

But now, because of many new factors, a troubled, degenerating state is upon us. The landscape has vastly changed since today’s coaches played. Youth sports has sadly evolved into little or no free play at home, with organized leagues taking over. It’s become big business. Travel and club sports with higher expenses are now the norm. Specialization, year-round play, and the intense pursuit of college scholarships are undeniably on the scene. Showcase events for young athletes and the televising of youth sports are widespread. 

Along with these changes, teams with players as young as 10-years-old strive for national championships and rankings. The focus on winning at the youth levels now rivals the intensity of the professional ranks. One could argue that today’s youth rosters change as much as, or more than, professional ones. Further complicating the situation is the movement into an exclusive system that’s now only for elite players and those who can afford the high cost of play.

Also, many school districts have had to limit extra-curricular activities because of budget deficits. The kids in these areas have little chance to receive the benefits of sports play and the physical activity they provide. All of these changes have created a high-anxiety era, for both the youth and the adults alike. The current environment for youth sports is one made up of the over-stressed athlete and extreme parental demands for excellent play and winning. Today’s athlete feels the pressure to not only play well, but to work harder than the rest and to outperform the neighbor’s kid. A majority of parents want their kids to not only play, but to excel. They want stars and winners, and too often, they’ll stop at little to meet those ends.

Stuck in the middle of it all are the youth coaches. The pressures parents lay on coaches today have made coaching a dubious proposition. Many youth coaches get into the season and begin to wonder why they ever even wanted to coach. They move from one headache to another. One day the players do not want to practice, the next day a parent complains of their child’s role, and the following day an assistant coach “goes off” on a player. Coaches may begin to realize, were it not for the players and parents, coaching would be the enjoyable experience they envisioned. I’m making a joke here, but there is some merit to what I’m saying.

Of course, sometimes it’s the coaches who are the problem. Some have the wrong perspective and coaching methods, which can lead to team turmoil. Whatever the case, the result can end up being athletes and parents wondering: “Is participation even worth it?” Not only are they wondering this, but many kids are actually dropping out, and more than ever before, parents are unwilling to enroll their children in team sports simply because of the massive emphasis on winning and the notoriety that’s entered the scene.

Deteriorating Conditions

“Did you see the news today?  A coach chased an umpire with a bat during the game. No, wait, that was yesterday; today it was a parent punching his child’s coach.” 

Sports headlines like these occur daily. It may be hard to believe, but some events are even more startling than these. Litigation surrounding a youth sports situation is a regular occurrence, too. These days, it seems everyone around the games has a horror story to tell.

I won’t go on and on about these stories in this book, because that would be the same as reading or watching the news. But the sad reality is, fewer games than ever happen without unfortunate incidents occurring. Of course, most head-shaking sports accounts are much less severe than the examples I mention, but for many, they still take the enjoyment out of the game.

The Dilemma

There aren’t many alternatives for parents who want their children in sports. It's either the ultra-competitive world of travel sports for the elite athletes and those who can afford it, or it’s the only-slightly competitive recreational leagues where participation is the primary objective. 

Many people believe that the less-intense recreational leagues can be an answer to the high-anxiety problem. But many non-competitive leagues provide little competition, inadequate training, and less knowledgeable coaches. For even mildly competitive parents and players, the casual atmosphere simply doesn’t cut it. That only leaves parents and athletes two options: high-involvement commitments, or not playing at all.

Such is the paradox – athletes must now decide: do they want the extreme, the less competitive, or to not play at all? Unfortunately, we are seeing this last option more often, and I suspect this will continue with the now-high expense that’s involved with competitive travel teams. Often, the fees to play travel ball are 5 times or more than the cost to play in local recreational leagues. Many club teams cost upwards of $1000 a year to play. Understandably, many parents cannot afford this, or they’re just aren’t willing to shell out those amounts...

Why Coach If It Seems Like a No-Win Situation

With the current problems and anxiety that come with coaching at the youth level, why would anyone choose to coach in the first place? Here is why.

A while back, I received two unsolicited letters from childhood friends after they saw I was doing some writing.

The first letter:

Jack, your dad was a great leader, coach, and gentleman. I can remember him from Joliet Little League, along with your fastball. Please write about him.

The second letter:

Jack, I read what you post[ed] on here, and I can tell that your passion for sports and drive to help kids has a lot of your dad’s influence in it. What a great man. I remember him with a lot of love and respect.  

To know that two people remember my father in that way, some 45 years later, is remarkable. I must believe that if my dad made that impression on three players, myself included, there are probably more. I cry every time I read these letters. The chance to be remembered as great, a leader, a gentleman, with love and respect is worth it all. Knowing that my dad made such a memorable, positive impact on people’s lives is powerful stuff. It’s fascinating to think of the potentially tremendous influence that youth coaches have on impressionable young people. Coaches change lives and make a difference. For people who have the time and knowledge, why wouldn’t they want to shape kids’ lives? Better yet, imagine the pride a dynamic parent coach can build in and the influence they can have on their child – priceless.