Signs to Laugh about to Maintain a Perfect Day
Many Signs to Laugh About
Laughter is one ingredient on my perfect day list, but on this day each year, it is not easy to do. It takes a real doozy to laugh when staring at 26.2 miles. Even when wanting to, the energy to do it is not worth wasting or doesn’t exist. A slight smile must suffice.
A more accurate statement was never made than “Laughter is the best medicine,” and I thank whoever came up with it. Here’s the thing, at about mile 19 of a marathon, when every ounce of your body and mind is shouting stop and saying, “WTF, I still have 7.2 miles to go?” it’s just not a laughing matter. It’s the race section when no light exists at the end of the mind’s tunnel. I suppose in a sick way, laughing about the predicament is about all you can do, but tears are more likely.
All hope is not lost, though. The saving grace is the humorous signs that fans bring to the Worst Parade Ever, one of the frequently noticed signs that nail the experience. Because I have had to run the last two marathons virtually, having no signage along the route is one of the things I missed the most. No fans = no signs = no laughs = no perfect day = bummer.
When times and the marathon were more normal, which feels like a long time ago, I was pretty good at spotting signs on the run. Of course, there is not much else to do to whittle away the time, but I think the habit goes back to my professional baseball days. When you miss a sign at that level, it costs you money by way of a fine. That was no laughing matter, especially in the minor league days of meager pay. The benefit, as stated, I learned never to miss a sign.
Laughable Signs
Following are some of the memorable reads that brought lightheartedness to the unfunny miles:
Mile 20 - One that brought a pretty good chuckle to me came in the New York marathon. In the year Brett Kavanaugh was put on the supreme court, one sign read, “Run like a supreme court justice - to the local tavern.” Not much else needs to be said on that one.
Mile 21 - Another good one came in the Las Vegas marathon, the city famous for its drop-in wedding chapels. The sign that brought many cheers from runners read, “Drop-in divorces here.” I guess some were running from their troubles.
Mile 22 – Worth, a giggle in my Chicago run, was this one, “Naked Cheerleaders next mile.” I believe my pace picked up after seeing that one.
Mile 23 – And a similar one in the Hawaii marathon that was impossible not to elicit a laugh, “You have great endurance, call me.” The sign holder knew how to draw attention because only a few could resist not checking out who held that one.
Mile 24 – One can’t help but snicker at the reality of this one which was at every marathon I’ve run; “It sounded like a good idea four months ago.” True, true.
Mile 25 – And another New York jokester who got it right, “Whine now, wine later.” Right on, 4.5 hours of agony is no match for a night of celebration.
Mile 26 – Nothing can bring laughing here, only the tears of joy when the finish line appears!
Of course, some memorable signs come earlier in the races, too. This one just made me mad as it showed up at mile 9, “The Kenyans are finished.” Why mad? The sign was right. Oh well, maybe next year will be my year.
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