Winning Parent Strategies for Athletes

Unfortunately, many athletes struggle when their playing days are over, especially those who reached the highest level in sports. For some celebrated athletes, professional ones who are no longer a center of attention, the career end can be devastating. It’s an understandable result when a player’s identity is caught up in what they do instead of who they are as people. I could go into some of the reasons for this outcome, with many societal issues to blame, but that’s a story for another day.

Let’s just say that there is little doubt parents and coaches could do a better job of lessening the blow when it’s time for players to hang it up. And that process must begin before and during an athlete’s playing days. Waiting until playing is over or almost over before trying to help players realize there is life beyond the glory days is too late.

Two critical life lessons I learned

I feel very fortunate in that regard. Sure, upon retiring, I missed playing, my teammates, and the attention, but moving on was not that big a thing. I believe my friends, family, and coaches shaped my perspective many years ago. First, they helped me view making the major leagues a means to an end. Yes, it was an obsession to make it at the time, but I never thought of it as the ultimate end. I believed there was something beyond that was more worthwhile. And sure, I may have thought my identity was at stake at the time but only because reaching a challenging goal requires an all in approach. It was the goal that was at stake, not my identity.  

Another thing I believe mom and dad taught was that “giving back” to others is critical and a more significant identifier than saying one was a major league player. That is not an easy lesson to accept when you want something so bad, but learning it has made the post-playing days much more enjoyable.

Winning Parent Strategies that help players’ futures.

Along with the above thoughts about keeping one’s quest in perspective, other adult tips can help athletes adjust to life without the game.

Parents and Coaches should:

1. Lead by example with a strong work ethic, an infectious enthusiasm, and a never-ending encouraging mindset. Everyone wins when athletes learn to work hard, a love for what they do, and an optimistic mindset.

2. Have realistic goals for kids, emphasizing development and fun. You will be amazed by how success follows when doing that.

3.  Trust in their kids and never lose faith in them when they struggle. Another amazement is how motivation comes to youth when they feel accepted for who they are and not how well they do.

4. Allow communication to flow both ways with the realization it’s their life and not yours. Making all decisions for your son or daughter leads to kids unable to take on challenges on their own.

5.  Help kids recognize that things are always a work in progress and that perfection is impossible, but striving for better is a reachable goal. Having patience and teaching it allows kids the opportunity to develop at their rate.

Finally, I hate to use the word should above because it makes it sound like it’s imperative. In this case, I believe these winning parent strategies are just that.