It’s Complicated

I’ve gone back and forth on this since the race's conclusion. The question is whether I consider finishing my 17th marathon a win or not.

So, there you have it, I completed the Philadelphia Marathon – every effin step of the twenty-six-point two-mile course. Hooray for me. So, why am I not elated? Give me time. I will get there, especially if I am not asked about my time.

Did I win?

Of course!

My goal of running marathons, at least my stated one, has been finishing them, regardless of my time.

No, no.

Winning is irrelevant; it’s doing my best – achieving peak performance - that’s the most important thing, and my race certainly wasn’t “peak” anything.

Did I win?

You bet you.

Winning is overcoming adversity, and believe me, my body was screaming adversity for the last fifteen miles.

Not so fast.

Yep, that was my pace and the problem. Additionally, the last four miles were the slowest of my career, which doesn’t sit well, although I couldn't wait to be seated.

Did I win?

“Darn tootin,”

I won because I finished despite my body tightening and too much walking for my taste. Persevering fifteen miles of “What the heck am I doing?” is tastefully winning.

No, face reality.

I lost because sports are about enjoying the journey and I struggled to win that mind game. Enjoyment would not be an accurate description despite the beautiful scenic Philadelphia course and enthusiastic crowds.

Did I win?

Absolutely!

Anytime anyone of any age can throw over sixty-thousand steps and thirty-two miles up on the pedometer with no soreness the next day, it’s a victory to claim.

Wait, hold the bluster.

I had eighteen weeks of training, and although they didn’t go as well as in the past, that was enough time to figure out what was wrong. I never did. Winners figure things out, so not doing so spells “loser.”

Conclusion - Yes and No

And on and on, the mind swirls with the dreaded curse of the athlete taking hold — the unavoidable, nightmarish analysis of the performance. The positive side is that I completed the mission, so it’s a victory, pitted against the opposing hand – I underperformed and must live knowing I should have been better.

Perfect Time for Thanksgiving

Kidding aside, it was a major, unquestionable win because, with your help, I raised $1200 for the American Association of Cancer Research. The organization was very thankful for that, and I was for them as they provided a heated tent before the start, which is a semi-lifesaver. Not sitting around and freezing before the race’s start was fabulous.

Additionally, I am incredibly grateful to those who donated to my cause. I thought of each of you on the run and said a little prayer of thanks that you are in my life in some way.

What the future holds for my running marathons is a little unclear, but twenty seems like a nice round number of marathons, and seeing how seventeen is not that, I imagine I will hit everyone up for support again next year.

Happy trails and any sharing of post is always appreciated.